Interesting blogs....
Below are some of the articles I have written on facebook:
How to change a habit Before you read this blog, I would like to answer an interesting question that I have been asked many times. We are among people, we notice consciously and subconsciously other’s habits and adopt them sometimes and if don’t like’em, we either mention it to our friends/family/ourselves or try to avoid them. So how do we develop habits? In my previous articles I have talked about learning and adopting habits/behaviours through different sources including our carers, friends, television characters (hero/heroines/villains) etc. Sometimes I have wondered in my head or even loud ‘why do I behave like this...?’, ‘I wish I could change this habit’ or ‘I hate myself (because of certain habit)’. I am sure you have asked yourselves these questions at some point in your life. I have been reminded on occasions that even though my certain habit has caused me pain but it is due to these habits and others, I am also liked and/or loved etc. So, how do we change bad habits? This is an interesting question because, though we are all individuals and our thinking + processing patterns are very different, we still have some similarities. To be able to change a habit, we need to be able to:
If you have tried different ways to change a habit with less or no success, try out my theory ‘Always change a bit by bit to succeed in changing the whole’. Follow some simple rules to change:
IMPORTANT NOTE:
Good luck and enjoy changing bad habits and remember to let me know how you got on. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Change happens... Why my blogs are based on a story which relates to me? The answer is that our brain learns quicker from others experiences because it is easy to relate to then having to experience our own issues. I have had the privilege of learning to look outside the box. I would like to share this amazing tool that I have learnt which can and will change your life forever. Over the last 5 years my life changed dramatically. If you think about your current lives, most of you will notice a routine of how and when you do things. Some of you will not be able to see a routine and others like to do things spontaneously. If now, you look back at your life, you will realise that at a certain point in your life, you learnt this behaviour from someone you admired/primary carer as well as your religious beliefs. I know I learnt to have a routine from my dad. The man who has been very important in my life and still is. Back to the story, my life changed in 2005. In a nut shell, time keeping, watch (without which I am lost) and routine of my life was challenged and left me in a state of uncertainty, panic and fear of unknown. I accepted these changes very quickly and adapted to new life (or so I thought). Over the years, my circumstances kept changing. A lot happened in my life from status change within my culture, social circle and my personal circumstances but I accepted all these changes as quickly as I could make sense of them and let go of my past. Some people call it slaying their demons. In 2008, I decided to change profession and train as a counsellor. For the first time I was put in situations where I had to be honest with myself and re-evaluate my thinking and belief system. It took me months before I was able to accept, yet a newer me. The counselling training helped me with self-awareness but also taught me psychological labelling and boxes to put people in (a conditioning which we have been brought up with and consider as normal). Then in 2009, I decided to take a step further and train as an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP Practitioner and Life coach. This training changed my thinking and belief system yet again. I learnt that labels are simple way of conditioning and an easy way out. I learnt that everyone has issues and we are all different. Accepting this, I was able to see people as individuals and not labels. I learnt that when we have a problem, we condition ourselves by saying that it is going to be hard to change. The word ‘Problem’ in my understanding, is a conditioning word = hard, difficult, might not be possible, failure and fear. So I ask you to change the word ‘Problem’ with ‘Issue’. Issue is not so scary word and it gives us the hope = hope of possibilities, can do attitude and failure doesn’t sound as scary. So how can words help a person to ‘Change’? The answer is ‘NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)’. NLP is the most powerful tool that if used appropriately can help re-frame from using the scary words to words which makes the change happen. When I see clients, all of them have answers to their issues when they are describing it. I am able to recognise them, note down those solutions, and make my clients aware of those words/solutions using NLP. So why do I need hypnosis when NLP can make the changes? Hypnosis helps the client to relax their conscious mind. Conscious mind is what makes the changes harder and most importantly holds the fear of unknown. Once the client is relaxed, s/he is able to concentrate on the issue in hand and change their thinking/believes to make those changes. Hence Hypnotherapy and NLP works quicker than conventional medicine and therapies. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Past life regression I hate crowds especially on the weekend food shopping trips, school holidays trips to town and last minute Christmas shopping. Explanation is simple: too many people around, no manners and giving children the freedom to look around while keeping my eye on them like a hawk. My wife normally does the last minute Christmas shopping and weekend food shopping is now done online in my pyjamas. While training as a hypnotherapist, in one of our Past life regression practice, my colleague took me into deep hypnosis and it was not long before I got the answer to my ‘hatred of crowds’. As a child, I got lost in a crowd of hundreds and hundreds of people while exploring the site with my grandmother. I couldn’t find my way back because I was only a wee boy and in panic. A wonderful man noticed me to be crying and got me on his shoulder and walked in all directions that I pointed towards. After he got tired, he put me on top of a high roof van to look around. I saw my brother looking and I was glad to have been found. Most times our dislikes and hatred is linked to something deeper, an old memory or what we might have heard or seen. Next time you dislike something, you may want to ask yourself in a relax state to ‘why’ and ‘what happens in you to dislike’. The answer to those questions hold the key to the ‘Solution’. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fear
At the age of 10 I remember taking
swimming lessons. I learnt to swim and dive very quickly. My friends and
I would go for a swim every day and play a game where a ‘police man’
had to catch the ‘thief’ in the pool. The rules were simple:
I always got caught first for being a slow swimmer and swimming in the shallow waters (4ft). I was not ready to go in the deep end (16ft). One afternoon I remember a kid no older than 5, he was following his friend along the side and was pushed in the pool. I saw the kid going in the water and staring at me with no emotions. I knew then that he couldn’t swim so I shouted out for the guards and dived in. As I brought him to surface I had an audience cheering, clapping and father in tears. At that moment ..... I remembered why I didn’t like going into deep water. I remember being 4 years old and going camping with my family and friends every fortnight. I was always accompanied by my eldest brother in the stream which ran by the mountains. I remember playing in the water and the next minute I was fighting to breathe and in a panic. I didn't realise that I had slipped into the deep end and was drowning. I remember shouting in English, Urdu and Arabic (we were living in Saudi Arabia) for help because I couldn’t feel the floor. While shouting for help and trying to breath, I felt a rope touching me. I held it as tight as I could and was pulled out of the water. I found out that the rope was my brother's arm, he believed he had caught something big and dad was taking a picture. I blocked that memory for years until that afternoon, when someone else was at the bottom of the pool. My instinct kicked in and the fear of depth became my strength to save the kid and made me a hero for the day. We all have Willingness to change and Fear of that change. It is the determination, reason to change which makes us successful. Believe in yourself and the world will be yours. |
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